The Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. Thought many
of the concepts are slightly abstract and obscure, the book itself is a truly
great work. The basic idea is that the day we meet our adventurous crew is the
single worst Thursday of Arthur Dent’s life. Sadly, it is not just Arthur who
will be having a bad day. You see, it is this Thursday when the earth gets
destroyed. Of all the billions of people on the planet, there was only one who
knew what was to take place, and he himself was not even from earth. Ford
Prefect, best friend of Arthur is a smooth talking quick thinking person for the
remote planet of Betelgeuse five. As you were probably able to infer, Ford
Prefect was not the name given to him by his parents, but instead the name of a
car that was never popular, which he chose as his moniker, as to better fit in
with the humans of earth. Our story begins with Arthur waking up early at his
London ’flat’ (it was a British book). This was just like any other
Thursday, except that outside, a demolition crew was beginning to destroy his
house so that they will be able to create a highway bypass. This was news to
Arthur. He did not know how they could do this without even warning him first.
Upon questioning the foreman of the job, he was informed that the plans had been
on record in the planning office for months. Sadly, the plans had been kept in
the cellar where there is no nights, or stairs for that matter, in a disused
lavatory, in the bottom of a locked file cabinet, with a sign that says
“Beware of the leopard.” Arthur’s decision at this point was to lie in
front of the bulldozer, so that, without killing him, it would be impossible to
destroy the house. Just at this point, Ford Prefect enters the scene. He tells
Arthur that it is imperative that he goes to the bar with him, because after he
tells him the news, he will need a stiff drink. Arthur explains the situation,
and quickly Ford comes up with a plan. He makes a deal with the foreman that,
since with Arthur there, they would not be able to do anything all day, they
have resolved to just stand around and do nothing all day. So, it was not
important weather or not Arthur was actually present. So they agreed that they
would not knock down his house until he got back. Arthur could not decide
whether or not to trust him. Ford assured him he could trust him to the end of
the earth… which was about ten minutes. Unknown to Arthur, ford was a writer
for the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, a type of encyclopedia chronicling
the high and low points of every planet, and how to get about them for free. He
had been doing research on earth for the last several years. Recently he had
received a transmission over his ‘sub-ether radio,’ which told him what was
to take place in just a few short minutes. Arthur and Ford hurried off to the
bar, and Ford explained what was about to happen. Ironically, the planet was set
to be destroyed in order to build an interstellar bypass. And who better to
destroy the planet, than a fleet of Vogons. The Vogons were a race from the
outer edges of the spiral arm. They had virtually no conscience, worked for
cheep, had hugs ships of mass destruction, and had perfected a type of poetry
which was so horrific, when read, the writer's small intestine has been known to
crawl out of their throat and strangle them. Well, the Vogons came, and made
short work of our blue/green planet, but before that happened, Arthur and Ford
were able to hitch a ride and stow away on one of the Vogon vessels. As you
would assume, Arthur is fairly confused at the whole situation. Ford explains to
him that he is from the planet of Betelgeuse, which, as anyone would suspect
continued to surprise and confuse Arthur. Nothing, however, confused him as much
as when Ford asked him to place something called a ‘babbelfish’ in his ear.
Everything that the babbelfish heard, it translates for the person whose head it
occupies. So, nearly instantly, Arthur was able to understand all of the grunts
that had been coming over the intercom, and then knew that they were being
searched for. Once again, Vogon efficiency prevailed, and they quickly located
the two hitchhikers. The hitchhikers were subjected to hear the captain of the
vessel read his latest sonnet, and were then forced into the blackness of space,
despite Ford’s best efforts to sway the guards to letting the live. We learned
that when ejected into the vacuum of space, one could only survive 26 seconds.
Well, our adventurers were out there for a good 25 before suddenly sucked onto a
strange ship, with yet another intercom, uttering more and more strange things.
This time the subject of the babbling was mathematic improbability. They made
their way to the bridge of the vessel, and found, with more surprise, Zaphod
Beeblebrox, the president of the galaxy, and a life long friend of Ford Prefect.
The mathematic garble that had been broadcasting was, in fact, why Arthur and
Ford had arrived where they did. The Ship, known as the Heart of Gold, worked on
an ‘infinite improbability drive.’ The ship decided how improbable it was
that it would end up at a specific place at a specific time for no apparent
reason, then generated a field with just that level of improbability. The only
problem with that is that everything else that improbable also occurs in that
general area. Zaphod was an adventurous sot, never thinking that rules really
applied to him, weather it was rules of physics, or the law in general. Zaphod
had a plan, a plan to prove true a myth of his youth. All the young kids on
Betelgeuse were told the story of the planet of Magrathea. On this planet, they
would custom build other planets to your liking. Like your own private home,
except as large as you can afford. The location of this planet was one of the
mysteries about it, but the Infinite Improbability drive was able to figure out
exactly where it could be found. Also on this ship was an android, but unlike
normal androids, this one was very smart, very strong, and very depressed. His
name was Marvin. Marvin was traveling along with the ship to do all the things
which Zaphod and Trillian (Zaphod’s girl, who was also on the ship) did not
feel like doing, which was pretty much anything. The crew set foreword on their
journey, and soon found the mysterious planet. Magrathea was in fact a real
planet, and all the stories had been true. When they arrived there, they were
met with a defense mechanism, which promptly fired two missiles at the ship,
neither of which impacted them, after they switched on the improbability drive.
One missile became a whale, and the other became a bowl of tulips. The whale hit
the surface of the planet and created a massive crater, which the team used to
get below the surface, where all the work was done. Sadly, when they made it
down there, they found that all the inhabitants were sleeping, cryogenically,
until their computers decide that the economy of the galaxy was doing well
enough for their strange product to be affordable again. With a stroke of luck,
the team had arrived at just this time. Arthur, who had decided to hang out by
the ship, was met by a man named Slartibartfast. Slartibartfast took Arthur on a
tour of the compound, where they build the planets, and explained how important
he was to their clients. Arthur watched a video about a great computer system
known as Deep Thought. Deep Thought was programmed to find the answer to
‘Life, the universe, and everything.’ Not a small task. The computer worked
on the problem for millions of years, until such a time that it said, “The
answer to life, the universe, and everything… is 42.” On which point it was
absolutely correct, however it did not know what the question was. It did,
however design a computer strong enough to find the question to go with the
answer. The people who owned the computer enlisted the Magratheans to create
this machine, which was to be known as ‘Earth’. Arthur was informed that he
was part of a giant computer program that utilized biological technology to
solve problems. The system was five minutes from finishing the eight million
year cycle of the program when it was destroyed to make way for the interstellar
bypass. He was the only survivor, and thusly, the most valuable asset they had
to present to their clients. Even weirder are the clients themselves. They were
two mice. The mice explained how it had been them who had been running the
planet during the entire biological cycle, and how upset they were when it all
went wrong. The entire crew met up with Arthur and bartered for control of his
brain, where the information was probably stored. During the combination meal
and business agreement, all heck broke lose. The police who had been chasing
Zaphod finally caught up, and Ford did the honorable thing and decided that no
one would have Arthur’s brain but Arthur. They made a break for the ship, but
were stopped by two police officers wielding kill-o-zap blasters. The officers
chased our adventurers through the complex, eventually cornering them behind
some computer equipment. They tried to bargain for their lives, but to no avail.
Just when they thought it was all over, both of the officers keeled over dead.
They rushed back to the ship, and found that Marvin the depressed android had
been conversing with the police ship, caused it to become suicidal, and it
overloaded and shorted out the life support systems of the police officers.
Everyone hurried back into the Heart of Gold, and took off. Without much
resolution, the story closes with Arthur being asked by Zaphod if he was hungry.
The answer was obviously yes, since he hadn’t eaten much all day. Zaphod
responded with the phrase “We’ll take in a quick bite at the Restaurant at
the end of the universe.” This book was actually the first in a series. The
next is aptly named The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.